[, You don’t have to like me after all, I’m not a Facebook status. [, Looking at people’s mutual friends and saying “OMG HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM” [, When a woman says WHAT? [, Wrestling is obviously fake. Yes, I see best short 1 line status.. Wow its so much fun to read it. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Some people deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings. I have selected these best quotes from a vast collection available on hundreds of websites. So this was my third post containing quotes and/or status messages. [, I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something. [, At least mosquitoes are attracted to me. The only unfortunate thing is the limit of characters. Your email address will not be published. [, I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button. Status Updates 1789; Memes 945; Life Status Updates 777; Silly Status Updates 645; Food Status Updates 562; Relationship Status Updates 511; Awkward Moment When 353; Work Status Updates 345 [, Do it today, It might be illegal tomorrow. [, I am not fat, I am just. So Cofefe your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets. [, When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation. Woke Up Motivated, 20 Funny Statuses, Simon Pegg Pranks Twitter, Facebook Trolling, Spill-Proof Beer, & Great Status Posts, Dog wears Pants, Baby Sloth, & Funny Statuses, Hello Bear, MailCat & Statuses that get LIKEs, Unexpected Pranking, Super Meme, & Funny Statuses, Funny Statuses, Facebook Enemies, & Ultimate FAIL, Illegal Parking Solution, Hangover Cat, & 16 Cool Statuses, Best Horoscope Sites for People Looking for Love. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Required fields are marked *, © 2007-2020 TechWelkin.The content is copyrighted to Lalit Kumar and may not be reproduced on other websites. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants? [, Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones. It makes them feel strong. [, If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. [, I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. [, Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture. Easier to see. [, I am not failed, my success is just postponed. I hope you liked these funny and clever quotable sentences. [, Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens. Because of short size, these are very suitable for WhatsApp and Twitter status. So what? [, I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday. [, Fart when people hug you. Excellent short status messages for Twitter and Facebook. Today I got another set of some really nice (mostly one liners) quotes. [, When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…” [, I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice. [, If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”. [, By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game. [, I wake up when I can’t hold my pee in any longer. [, Before you judge me, Make sure that you’re perfect. [, When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car”. [, My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. Unless you’re a serial killer. Funny Status Messages and Tweets Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter. New posts will not be retrieved. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Recently, I wrote a post that contained over one hundred short and cheeky quotes that could be used as status on WhatsApp. Here you will find every kind of funny status to make fun with your friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, siblings or anyone very close to you. There may be an issue with the Instagram Access Token that you are using. [, That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? That’s the sperm that won. [, I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. See how Google uses data when you're on TechWelkin | Privacy Policy. I prefer the term “surprise adoption”. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school. But never twice. [, I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font. [, God made every person different, He just got tired by the time he got to china. Make sure this account has posts available on instagram.com. I thought I will make up 1 for my own! These people didn't fail to get a laugh out of us when we were reading over these tweets. [, Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee. I also hope that you’ll love to make these your status on channels like WhatsApp and Twitter. [, Don’t steal, the government hates competition. [, If “Plan A” didn’t work. [, My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips. [, I Was Born Cool, Global Warming Made Me Hot. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. [, You don’t realize how many clothes you have, until you wash them. I hope you’ll also love these. Funny Status Messages and Tweets Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter. [, Kidnapping? [, If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. [, Think twice before you speak, you’d be able to say something more Insulting. [, I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones. Feel free to tweet them, use them on WhatsApp, Facebook or any other social media channels. You can use these short one line quotes as your Twitter and Facebook status. [, I like to name my iPod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ I click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero. Twitter users are able to post their tweets from from numerous devices and platforms, including the iPhone, Android, Blackberry, or Windows Phone devices and traditional computers. This truly is some Twitter comedy gold. Search random posts or submit your own. [, I’m an excellent housekeeper. [, I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder. [, They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? [. Find a funny Facebook status to use for yourself. [, That moment when even Caps Lock can’t express your anger. Hell, do both. [, I don’t always have time to study… but when I do, I don’t. I have another collection of more verbose, but excellent, quotes. [, Want to surprise your girlfriend? [, Accept who you are. [, I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right. [, If girls could read minds… Every second a man would get slapped. Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. [, If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Facebook Status Updates 1903; Misc. This error message is only visible to WordPress admins. [, We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person. [, I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand. [, Try to say the letter “M” without your lips touching. Best funny status and short funny quotes for Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram and all of your favorite social media. 10. ivan @madetomeasvre. [, They say that alcohol kills slowly. Funny status ideas. I like happy people, when you make comments can you tag me a smile too! [, If women could read minds, every second man will get slapped. [, The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight. Either way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week. [, Make love, not war. TechWelkin displays Google AdSense ads. It’s not because she didn’t hear you. I will post them soon for your Facebook and Google+ status. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said. [, I never make the same mistake twice. [, My girlfriend is like my iPad… I don’t have an iPad. [, Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught. How it Works and how to install it? [, A fine is a tax for doing wrong. The only unfortunate thing is the limit of characters. [, Until I was thirteen I thought my name was ‘Shut up’. [, I am not lazy, I just rest before I tired. [, Be what you want to be, not what other wants to see. Your email address will not be published. [, God must love stupid people- he made so many! [, The greatest pleasure in Life is doing what people say you can’t do. Tips and Tutorials on Computers, Mobiles and Internet, September 11, 2014 By Lalit Kumar 2 Comments. Enjoy them and share them with your friends on social media. My first one was on memorable quotations of Steve Jobs. Thank you for using TechWelkin! You can use these short one line quotes as your Twitter and Facebook status. [, If you’re texting two people at the same time, you are biTextual. [, God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China. [, All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips. when you see something funny but you’re supposed to be offline. [, She is so fake that she should have two Facebook accounts; one for each face! We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. [, Women should not have children after 35. Who’s in a hurry? [, I look at people sometimes and think… Really? Some people deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings. [, Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back. Really… 35 children are enough. Get married. [, You can do anything, but not everything. [, Reading texts half asleep is like looking into the sun. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. [, How do people write an auto biography? [, When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before your phone does. He won’t expect it back. Parameters¶ He said he needs more proof. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. A tax is a fine for doing well. Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. [, If you can’t convince them, confuse them. [, Sometimes you just need some space… to fart. This truly is some Twitter comedy gold. So Cofefe your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets. [, A man is incomplete until he is married. [, When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter? After that, he is finished. [, I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative. Your server might also be unable to connect to Instagram at this time. [, You are so awesome that, my middle finger salutes you. Please do share these with your friends in virtual world. [, Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant. [, You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone. [, Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person. [, Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it? You can only post 300 Tweets or Retweets during a 3 hour period. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. [, Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire! We are long waited to share these Best 150+ Funny Status with our dear visitors. Twitter is a microblog which allows users to publish short messages of 280 characters of less. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Cool Instagram Usernames for Girls and Boys, Best Custom Robots.txt File for Blogger/Blogspot, Check Ticket Confirmation PNR Status on WhatsApp, Easily Capture Screen and Do Recording on iPhone / iPad, Consistent Video Upload is Important for YouTube Channel, Conditions for YouTube Channel Monetization, How to Get Your First 100 and 1000 Subscribers on YouTube, how Google uses data when you're on TechWelkin, The longer the title the less important the job.
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